we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i think i just lost a toe
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
