$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
