White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
