He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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