Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
