real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
