It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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