dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
