i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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