No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
