Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize