Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Drunk is not a location!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
