i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
