Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So vagazzling was a success
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
