I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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