so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
