Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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