Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
