Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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