I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
