Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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