Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
