just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
