I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
