yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
