and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
