I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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