At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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