Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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