Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
