you're like a bully in the Christmas story
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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