sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
