Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
