no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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