i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
