so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
