The maid of honor just puked.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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