dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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