Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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