And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
