just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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