I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize