Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
the raccoons are back...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
