I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
