Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
