is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
