...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
only you would photoshop your dick
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
