he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
