Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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