I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
