Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
