I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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