we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
