just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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