Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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