just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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