it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
