Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
