I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
