Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
