I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
