why didn't you poke me back
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
