Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Randomize
