I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
